Whenever I see I've gone over a month without blogging, I get the same feeling in my stomach as when I eat a slice of toast — then notice mold on rest of the loaf.
I'm struggling to get back into the swing of writing, if not daily, at least weekly. But it's been a challenge with my increasingly debilitating chronic pain (which I'm now convinced is caused by Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritis). And it doesn't help that I sleep during the day more than those two above — combined. My life has basically been napping between cups of coffee.
Napping all day may sound like a luxury, but I assure you: it's not. In fact, it's the other way around: I don't have the luxury of skipping a nap. I wish I could because it has me missing out on a social life and a livelihood and tweeting compulsively about how much I hate the weather in Southern California.
I'm also tired of people who don't have a clue about the pain and exhaustion associated with Fibromyalgia and Rheumatoid Arthritisis and they encourage me to simply work through it. That is insulting. The motivation is there, the mobility is not. If you can't crochet for more than ten minutes without your fingers and wrist swelling up and not being able to lift your arm for two days afterwards, you'll come to the same conclusion about the whole "push through it" pep talk too.
But I can't be too hard on the people who surely say things with a good heart — because honestly, unless you experience it firsthand or you're the caretaker for someone who does, it's impossible to comprehend the crippling factors of something like Fibromyalgia. I'm even surprised by every new symptom and setback.
I've always had a weird aversion to blogs, tweets and Facebook statuses that focus too much on someone's health issues. But now that it's happening to me, I find some comfort and solidarity in them. I've pointed out that this is not the direction my blog is going in, but I do want to bring enough awareness here so if you find yourself (or someone you care about) suffering from something similar, you can be all, "That chick whose blog I read mentioned that! I'm not being a paranoid hypochondriac!" Unless, of course, we both are.
I'm hoping to catch a break soon. Get through a day without sleeping it away. Find a Medi-Cal insurance card in the mail. Spend a few hours at Disneyland. Make something to sell in my shop. Finish this blog post.